Scarlett Pannebaker

Aug 18 He Sleeps on the Floor

"Mommy, I'm scared," Truman told me when I entered his room at 9:45 pm, hearing him call me over the monitor a few minutes before.

"What are you scared of, buddy?" I asked as I got down on the floor next to him.

"I just need you, that's what I'm scared of. I just need you right now."

So I laid down and 'spooned' my boy. He rubbed my forearm for a bit and cuddled in next to me. My big three year old boy gets scared sometimes. He sleeps on his floor right now with the lamp on for the whole night. Sometimes he even asks to sleep in our bed. It's just a 'scared' phase and he won't need me forever. But right now he does and I'm in no hurry to push him further into his childhood just yet when it comes to moments like these.



I find myself being fairly laid back with parenting my three year old. I'm not a push-over parent though, as I pick my battles and feel like I butt heads with Truman more often than I'd like. Because he's three and obviously needs discipline for The Big Stuff. When it comes to listening to me, obeying me, and respecting me (and others) it's non-negotiable. I follow through with my consequences I give as a result of his poor decisions, and time outs still work pretty well for us along with removing a privilege like TV or dessert (really hitting below the belt there, I know). He knows I'm the boss and tells Nate this frequently---something that I'm sure irritates Nate but since I'm with Truman so much more, I do have to deal with the discipline more often. And I am bossy sometimes, as Nate knows all too well. ;) So anyway, I'm not a push-over parent but I'm still pretty laid back.

Because everything else that's not an earth-shattering event? Meh. I'm not going to battle with him over those minor things. Truman doesn't like to eat vegetables and even some fruits are iffy. He watches a fair amount of TV. He 'needs' my help putting on his shirts each day. The kid sleeps on the ground with a light on, did I mention that yet? But I just can't get worked up about those things because he's a little kid. It's all a phase. And my job as a mom is to teach him the rules, to discipline him so that he's not a spoiled brat, but it's also to support and encourage and let Truman be the best T he can be. Sometimes you gotta let the kid be a kid and just roll with it.

I pinned something the other day that made me grin. Age 3: Let me play (trust me, I'm learning). YES. Truman can't start 4K until next fall because his birthday is in March, but I've wondered if I should search out a more structured 'pre-school' setting for Truman right now. There's certainly nothing wrong with preparing a three year old for school, practicing letters, learning in a formal setting, etc. But Truman likes the 'free play' style at Lori's. On my days off I'm more than capable of sitting down and practicing the alphabet with him (if we make time in between playing with trains and digging dirt in our flower beds). A big part of me feels like he is going to be in school for nearly 20 years of his life. It's fine to let him explore and loaf and be three right now. It's fine for other moms to send their kids to 'pre-school' at this age, too. Whatever works, since every family and every child is so different. But for us, I'm happy to postpone the more formal school setting for one more year. He's learning and will hopefully be a good student someday regardless.

I didn't mean for this post to be about labeling my 'parenting style' because I don't think it's necessary to put a stamp on my relationship with my son. I guess I just realized the other night, laying on the floor with Truman to help ease the scariness, that some moms might raise their eyebrows at this scene. Some might say I need to lay down the law, put the kid in his bed, turn off the light, and teach him to sleep like a big boy. And some kids 'need' that firm hand guiding them. But my boy doesn't need me to be a tough mom all of the time. I'll be tough on the topics that matter in my eyes. But I believe in being a big softie when it's warranted, too. I'll take all of the cuddles I can get right now.

Just as long as it's not every night or multiple times in the night. I draw the line there ;) But occasionally? Sure, I will go with it.

Everyone has different philosophies about how to discipline, guide, and mold a child during these impressionable years. There is no right or wrong way, only the way that parents think is best for their child. If you are super strict, that's fine by me. I'm not, but no judgement for moms doing it differently than me. We all have to figure it out as we go anyway. And I'll be the first to admit I have no clue what I'm doing most of the time, especially with my first-born. I've never parented a three (almost three-and-a-half-year old) before. But overall Truman is a great kid. He's pretty laid back and I am, too (but we both have our tendencies to be dramatic, for sure). I wasn't raised in a super strict household so I'm probably parenting the way I was brought up, which is kind of cool to think about in a way. We're all doing this motherhood thing differently which is great because variety is the spice of life (or something like that).

Two light bulb moments for me, to summarize this random post:

1. Parenting is hard but it's a lot more fun when I don't take it all so seriously.

2. I might have to parent Cecelia differently than Truman because she is going to be our wild child. Hold me.