Scarlett Pannebaker

This school year was one of the first times that "Working Mom Guilt" really hit me.

And it hit me. Hard. Really Hard.

Maybe it was the fact that I had another baby and the post partum hormones hit me harder, maybe it was the fact that Kate was going into Kindergarten, maybe it is the fact that I have a tough group of students, or maybe it was combination of all of these factors. 

The cold hard truth is that this school year I have felt SO, SO, SO incredibly guilty that I am a working mom.
 I feel guilty that I can't volunteer in Claire's preschool class or Kate's Kindergarten class or go on field trips. (I used all my sick days/personal days for maternity leave & don't have any days left this year)
I feel guilty that I am out of the loop with what is going on in their classes.
Kevin does the morning drop off (because I have to be at school) and I have 2 friends who take them home because they get out an hour before I am done teaching.
This means that I don't really know any of the mom's in either of the girls classes.
I don't know the kids in their classes.
I feel guilty that I have to rely on my friends to bring my kids home. 

Why do I have this guilt?
This question was partially answered to me on Sunday at church.
Our pastor gave one of the BEST sermons I have ever, ever,  heard.
I felt like he was talking to me. I have a love/hate relationship with sermons like that.
Here I am, FIVE days later and I am STILL thinking about what he preached on.
That hasn't happened in a long time.
His sermon had several amazing points, but two really stuck out to me.
(By the way, if you would like to hear his sermon, leave me a comment or send me an email and I would be happy to email you the video link of the sermon)

First point that stuck out with me:
1.  I have this "Working Mom guilt, because I am keeping "score".
I need to STOP KEEPING SCORE.
(In the sermon, this was mostly directed at keeping score between you & your spouse, but I realized I was doing this with myself)
Most of my friends are stay at home moms and a lot of the time I envy that.
I feel guilty that I am not volunteering in their classes,  I feel guilty that I can't go on field trips, I feel guilty that I can't help out with the class parties, I feel guilty that my girls don't get to have after school playdates when other kids do because I am at school.
I feel guilty that my friends Kelly & Susan drive my girls home. I am keeping score...I am at zero and they are at 1 million. I so, so, so grateful for their willingness to help me out this year, but I feel bad that I can't repay the favor.  I need to stop keeping score and just accept their help knowing that they don't expect anything in return.  I am so blessed by them and thankful God put them in my lives.

Second point in the sermon that stuck out to me:
 I need to RELISH my ROLE. 
This is the big one. I need to Relish the role that I have been given.
As a working mom, I have MANY roles.
When I am at school, I need to Relish my Role as a Teacher. I need to give 100% to my students because I know that God has me there for a reason. Not only to teach math to these crazy middle schoolers, but to be a light. Middle school is a rough, rough, rough time. When I was in middle school, I KNEW I wanted to be a middle school teacher because I had an awesome middle school teacher. The reason I wanted to teach middle school is because I have a heart for these kids, middle school sucks (but I love it!) I want to be a light to them & a positive influence on them. I know 100% that God has me at my school for a reason. I do not doubt this at all. I do like my job and the people I work with. I do know that I can (and have) been a positive influence to those on
I need to relish my role. Even though I am a working mom, I am a part-time working mom, so I need to relish the fact that  I am lucky that I am done teaching at 1:15 each day, so I am able to home for the entire afternoon.
I need to relish in the fact that even though I am a working mom, my kids don't have to go to daycare. I am lucky that my mom watches Luke 3 mornings a week and Kevin's mom watches him the other 2 days.
God has put us into roles for a reason. We need to relish those roles, even if they aren't exactly the roles we want to be in.
Are you single but want to be married?
Are you trying to have kids and struggling to get pregnant? 
Are you a mom of young kids and wishing the crazy toddler years would be over?
Are you a stay at home mom, but wish you were a working mom?
Are you a working mom but wish you were a stay at home mom?
Are you feeling stuck in a life situation that you don't want to be in?
Know that you aren't alone. Sometimes roles just last for a season.
My prayer for myself (and for all of us) is that we can get rid of the guilt, stop keeping score and relish our roles.....Even if it's a role we don't want to be in.
I pray that God is using us in these roles for His Good and His Glory.