Scarlett Pannebaker

four weeks

Dearest Baby Boy Truman,


Four weeks ago today I had the privilege of meeting you and from the moment I saw your squishy baby face I fell madly in love with my son. It's totally cliche and it can't possibly make sense to anyone unless they've experienced it themselves, but my whole world changed the day you were born and it absolutely changed in the best possible way. How did I get so lucky to be your Mommy? I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you are mine, that your Daddy and I made you, and that we get to keep you forever and watch you grow up a little bit every day. And boy, have you done some growing in the past four weeks.




Breastfeeding is certainly your favorite hobby and you showed off your instinctual skills for latching onto Mommy right away. Your Daddy weighed himself with and without holding you and we think you might be close to 10.5 pound already, which means you are still gaining almost a pound a week! Your cheeks are plumping up and your thighs are a little more meaty, and much to my dismay your newborn sleepers are getting a little too snug for my little peanut these days. I'm definitely going to be that mom who cries every time I put away another clothing size that no longer fits my munchkin because I just want to freeze time and keep you this tiny forever sometimes. Then again, your Daddy and I cannot wait for you to get bigger and more interactive with us because when you smile in your sleep it already melts my heart. I can't imagine how amazing it will be when you purposefully smile AT me which will probably be in the next month or so. I have a feeling you're going to have a lady-killer smile that will make all of us weak in the knees, possibly causing my head to pop off from love. Is that possible, I wonder?





Truman, you have experienced SO many 'firsts' in your first four weeks of life. We gave you the first real tub bath on 3.27 and you hated it with a passion:) Your Daddy gave you your first bottle full of Mommy's milk on 3.26 and you totally made his day with your adorable facial expression as you gulped down the milk like a champ. I guess you don't care where your milk comes from as long as we keep your tank full at all times! Your umbilical cord stump FINALLY fell off on 3.25, at 3 and a half weeks, and your little tummy is simply too cute for words. We've been cloth diapering your tushy now and it's going really well. I think you like the feeling of soft cloth on your butt and I personally adore your bulky booty full of cloth:)





Except for a few nights here and there, you've started to fall into a sleeping pattern that makes your Mommy a happy (and better rested) woman. Most of the time you will sleep for 3 to 4 hours at a time at night, nursing for about 30 minutes or more when you wake up, and you'll fall asleep fairly easily after each feeding with a little bit of coaxing from me. Sometimes you just want to be held and Mommy breaks the rules when she pulls you into bed with her and Daddy--but you just love laying on our big mattress in between your two favorite peeps (I'm assuming we are your favorites at this point, and we're going to go with it for awhile).

Becoming your Mommy has taught me more about life than I could have imagined. It's like all of the important things are blatantly clear to me now and everything else is just silly and insignificant. I'm surprising myself with parenting instincts that I never knew I had, and by making a few choices that I SWORE I'd never make when I was pregnant. For instance, you are sleeping right next to our bed instead of in your nursery (I swore that wouldn't happen!); I'm letting you run the show with your 'schedule' instead of imposing a strict time line on you for each day (I totally thought I'd like a set routine but find myself trusting that you know what you need better than the clock knows); and I find myself enjoying our little trips in the car to run errands and you've even been a social butterfly during coffee dates, a baby shower, and a few doctor's appointments. Each time we get out in the big bad world I feel a little more confident and you always surprise me with how well you do on our trips. You are certainly a laid back dude and I don't know why I expected anything differently from you. Thank you for being so kind to us rookie parents. It's greatly appreciated.

Each day I notice that you are a little more alert, you sleep a little less, and you are totally obsessed with lights and windows and looking up into our faces. Your personality shines through your numerous facial expressions and pretty much our whole family spends way too much time just staring down at you. It's just too entertaining to watch you be yourself and we can't get enough of it. Because you are the first grandchild on both sides it's safe to say that both your Wisconsin and your Missouri Grandparents are spoiling the heck out of you. Grandma and Grandpa H like to come upstairs each day and steal you away for a few hours just to 'play' with you. And Grandma and Grandpa B love to watch you on Skype each weekend, as you just light up their computer screen and show off all that you can do (sleep, cry, sneeze, yawn, and hiccup...that's about it right now) :) Your Missouri Grandma flew in to stay with us for a whole week this week and she is obviously head over heels for her grandson and who can blame her? I think both you and I are going to be spoiled to death while she's here and I'm not going to complain if you aren't!

Truman, I could go on and on about these four weeks we've had with you but I'll wrap it up by saying that you are the most precious gift we could have ever imagined. We love you more than words could ever explain and I'm trying with all of my might to stay in the moment and enjoy each second of my maternity leave with you. In some ways it's just flying by and in other ways it seems like it was a different lifetime when you were still inside my belly. I thought I'd miss pregnancy and there are a few things that I'd love to feel again, but for the most part having you on the outside is exponentially better than having you inside me. Getting to hold you each day is pretty much the greatest experience ever. I love you little T-man. Can't wait to watch you grow.

Love, Mommy



(yes, we are really sleeping here) :)